Dracula 2001. (2000). Cert 18. Director - Patrick Lussier. Writer - Joel Soisson. Starring - Gerard Butler, Johnny Lee Miller & Christopher
Plummer.
Premise - This Wes Craven produced vampire film claims to bring the
myth of Dracula into the new millennium. Being a bit of a sucker ;-) for a vampire movie I had fairly high
expectations for this flick. A solid 3 or maybe even a 4 if it hit the
right buttons.
Oh, dear.......
In order to highlight what
is wrong with this film I am going to have to divulge some spoilers, I
don't like doing it, but on this occasion it's required.
SPOILERS
AHEAD!!!!!!
The problems with the film are many, but the worst
offender is the idea that Dracula is not in-fact Vlad The Impaler, but is
in actuality, wait for it,
Judas.
That's right, the guy
who screwed Jesus was turned into a vampire for his trouble and has been
wandering the earth drinking blood and looking a lot like Michael
Hutchence.
For the last 100 years Van Hesling (Christopher
Plummer, whom must be short of cash) has had him held captive in his
London basement. Hesling has been injecting himself with Drac's blood to
keep himself alive. When a bunch of thieves steal Drac's coffin and take
it to New Orleans Drac makes a beeline for Heslings daughter (who happens
to stay in New Orleans, hmm...) to have her join him at his side.
Sound's like a good idea doesn't it? Well, for the first 30mins it
is a good idea. An idea sadly wasted.
The film constantly treats
the audience like an idiot, adding little needed exposition to scenes just
so we know what's going on. Like it isn't obvious.
The other nail
in the coffin ;) is that for the last 100 years Hesling has been trying to
find a way to kill Dracula as the normal stuff (Crosses, silver, stakes)
just makes him angry and doesn't kill him. So in the space of a 90min
movie Johnny Lee Miller and Hesling Jr manage to figure out what Van
Hesling Snr couldn't work out in 100 years. Whilst I'm on about Miller
this guy is British, but still manages to sound like an American trying to
sound British........ badly!
The way to kill Dracula that evaded
Van Hesling for 100 years? Are you ready for this one?
Hang Him,
that's right. If you hang Dracula he dies. Why? Because Judas tried to
hang himself.
Words fail me to describe the lameness of this film.
It's a shame; it's a good idea (if you leave out all the Judas
stuff). Technically it's sound, nice touches here and there, some nice
fight scenes, a half-sensible soundtrack.
It just doesn't hold any
water. You need to suspend belief to a certain extent for these kinds of
films, but Dracula 2001 would require you to have a lobotomy to garner any
enjoyment.
Terrible.
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2/10 for Dracula 2001. Poster Quote - This film sucks. |