Valentine (2001). Cert 15.            Director - Jamie Blanks Writer - Tom Savage, Donna Powers, Wayne Powers, Gretchen J. Berg & Aaron Harberts. Starring - David Boreanaz, Denise Richards, Marley Shelton & Katherine Hiegel.

Premise - At a Valentines Night dance a young geek is humiliated by his peers, fifteen years later four friends start receiving morbid Valentines cards as the geek is out for revenge. I really should have known better. Valentine is a retread of every slasher horror flick you've ever seen. The film contains no new ideas and it seems, is not ashamed of the fact. The requirements for the teen slasher film are all in place here.  A young sexy cast, hard rock soundtrack and some inventive killings are all very much the order of the day. So Valentine wears it's heart on it's sleeve, it doesn't pretend to be anything more than a formulaic slasher flick and, well it isn't anything more than a formulaic slasher flick. This comes as even less of a surprise when you learn that director Jamie Blanks was also responsible for the equally MOR Urban Legend. He uses every cliche in the horror book to eke every last jump out of the watcher. Sudden music cues, people in the background, you know the drill. As far as talent goes we have Denise Richard's (always nice to look at) playing a bit of a loose woman with attitude and David Boreanaz playing, well, he plays Angel...... only drunk. I think the movie may have been heavily re-cut. Either by the studio or after test screenings because some scenes don't make sense and some scenes even feel like they have been cut into the film in the wrong order. I was constantly baffled by events in the final third of the film. One saving grace the film has is a nice final payoff, even if I did see it coming a mile off. Oh, if you do rent this flick, don't read the back of the box. It gives away the identity of the killer. Not a good thing......

3/10 for Valentine. Poster Quote - Revenge of the nerd.